Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?

First Up, A Meme Origin Story

This might be fairly deep internet shit, but there’s a Mickey Mouse meme that I absolutely love. It’s one of those bizarre images that travels around the web, seemingly without a source and without a reason for even existing. Here’s what I’m talking about:

When I first saw it, I assumed it was text from like the Communist Manifesto or Nietzsche or something. It’s not! Adding to the image’s mystery, it appears to be 100% original. Here’s a funny Reddit thread of people trying to source the text. Whoever made this, wrote this. According to Know Your Meme, it dates back to Tumblr in 2015 (good year for Tumblr OC tbh). Until this week, however, I never actually knew where the image came from. Behold!

I had never seen this before and it’s blowing my mind. The biggest surprise? Mickey isn’t holding Donald’s shirt! He’s washing a dish. Second big surprise? This comic came from a Disney Magazine ad in a 1986 My Little Pony comic. It always comes back to ponies.

Speaking Of Deep Questions, A Tweet

Not sure if this is true for you, but it definitely is for me. I’ve dreamed of certain apps, but strangely never the device I’m accessing them on. I’d say the app that pops up in my dreams the most often is Slack, which I assume is like the adult millennial version of dreaming about missing classes in school.

Now, A Good Goose Vid

Everyone’s crazy for geese right now! Largely that has to do with the release of Untitled Goose Game for Nintendo Switch. If you’re stuck on the first stage with the farmer, you can get him to put on the sun hat by pulling up a rose, forcing him to bend down and replant it. Once he’s bent down, you can steal his hat. When you do, he’ll go over and put on the sun hat.

Anyways, this video has really nothing to do with all that. But it’s got a goose in it and I like it. Listen to the sound of his feet on the floor of the Walmart! He’s so happy to be out shopping!

Alright, Let’s Talk About Frankie Muniz

Last month, Frankie Muniz tweeted that he wanted to be Lizzo’s purse. It’s extremely unclear what this meant. But honestly, shoot your shot, Malcolm.

So, you know, whatever. More people are horny on main actually. That’s fine. If this had been the end of it, we could have all moved on as a society. Except it wasn’t! Because someone on Instagram decided to DRAW it.

In this artist’s rendition of the Frankie Muniz purse, Muniz is being walked around on a chain holding Lizzo’s purse. I think this is actually the best possible outcome here. When I first heard that someone had drawn this I was deeply worried that it was going to be a thing where Frankie Muniz was transforming into a purse that was still sentient and made of flesh and hair. idk that’s just where my mind went! Also, this is not an uncommon thing. For instance, here’s a video of a man turning into a diaper.

People had a lot of fun with this. Someone edited Muniz’s Wikipedia page.

But it does seem to have caused a bit of drama in the being horny community.

Finally, Another Horny Thing

I saw this floating around and decided to investigate. I had thought to myself, “oh wow, you know, that’s a pretty good looking couch, I wonder if people are actually having sex on it.” Turns out it is not a genuine post on a genuine community Facebook page, sadly. From what I can tell, Blackwood Community Buzzposting is a bunch of edgelords LARPing as a small town Facebook page. I’m not totally sure I understand the larger joke going on here, but it seems like they really don’t like roundabouts and women named Karen. I’m going to go out on a limb and say the people running it are probably pretty young.

P.S. here’s a list that you should absolutely scroll to the very end of…

***All typos in this letter are on purpose actually***