Hi, Sorry I was MIA Last Week

It was my birthday. I’m 30 now. So that’s exciting. My knee started hurting the other day for no reason and yesterday I woke up hungover after drinking two beers. Good times all around. Alright, to make up for the week off, without further ado, here’s a shit load of content.

First, A Good Tweet Conversation

Next, Was The Nokia N-Gage Based Off Goatse?

This rumor has been going around the internet for a while, but it recently resurfaced on Twitter. For those of you who somehow don’t know what Goatse is, uh, well, plainly put, it’s a really famous photo of a man pulling his anus open. You can google it if you like. I have to assume that most workplaces in 2019 are probably cool with Goatse. It’s like pretty famous.

The story with the N-Gage goes that the hardware designers of the N-Gage had the project forced on them and nobody wanted to do it. So their first design prototype they presented to management was one inspired by Goatse, assuming management would reject it because of how silly it is. But it passed. It’s a pretty hilarious story and I’m inclined to believe it because everything that was ever posted on Something Awful is probably true. But, in all seriousness, the only thing that really backs up this rumor is that Goatse’s left hand has a ring on it and there’s a ring around the 5 of the N-Gage. So, yeah, I’m saying this is possible.

OK, Here’s Another Good Twitter Conversation

And then the response from Huge Spiderman.

I’ll be honest, there’s easily a 50/50 chance that this account is some kind of fetish thing. That stone is probably best left unturned.

Right, Let’s Talking About These Stuffed Chicken Breasts

This absolutely HORRID photo comes from the very good “The Shitty Food Blog” Instagram account. But what really pushes this over the edge was the caption one Tumblr user gave it: “Chernobyl fleshlight”

OK, Let’s Cleanse The Palate With A Good Meme

lol

So, Here’s Just A Perfect Post Really

Almost Done, Now, Clay Kermit

Here’s a weird one. A Tumblr user named curioscurio recently wrote, “I feel like I’ve memorized kermit the frog well enough at this point to sculpt him without looking at the clay. Wish me luck.”

This is what their Kermit looked like:

Here’s where things get interesting, though. Curioscurio updated the post with a few more pics of Clay Kermit:

“I have decided to submerge clay Kermit in vinegar so that will become ripe in the pickling process,” they wrote. There’s no real explanation for why Clay Kermit had to be pickled but most Tumblr users didn’t seem to mind. The majority of the reactions actually were just overwhelming relief that Clay Kermit wasn’t jarred in piss.

Before We Go, Let’s Check In On Owl City

If you click through, you can listen to the song. It’s pretty good! There was also a pretty good moment in the comments:

Oh! Another Joker Thing

Also, I Just Learned What Rantsonas Are

A rantsona is a term used to describe the online personas vloggers use in YouTube reaction videos. I think there’s a big overlap in rantsonas and fursonas (furry alter-egos) because all the rantsonas I’ve come across are usually anthropomorphic animals. I also just sort of assume that everything on the internet I’ve never heard of is somehow connected to furries. From what I can tell, these channels are mostly like redpilled edgelord YouTube weirdos who vlog about a really controversial topic in the social justice space to game YouTube’s algorithms. Also, once again, pretty sure they’re all furries. You may have heard that furries — like Juggalos — are antifascists now, but there’s still a big chunk of the furry community who are completely radicalized. Here are some rantsona greatest hits:

Aren’t you much happier now that you know this is a thing?

Alright, Alright, Alright, Finally It’s Jimi Halloween Time

Every year, in the Shbuya neighborhood of Tokyo, folks get together for the “Jimi Hallown” or “Plain Halloween” costume contest. It started in 2014 when writers for the Japanese website Daily Portal Z wanted to celebrate Halloween but were too embarrassed to dress up in real costumes. Every year these costumes are totally amazing. Here are few of my favorites. Shout out to Sora News 24 and atashi00 for doing the translating.

“An office lady who’s just finished work.”

“A couple that got into an argument at Disneyland and is now super awkward.”

“Someone whose face-swap app detected the wrong thing.”

“Someone who's dead on the inside because they're going to work on their day off.”

“Someone who is standing at the far side of an e-sports group photo.”

“Camera assistant at a photography studio for children.”

“Person who doesn’t want to have their photo taken with their face inside a gimmicky signboard.”

“Second inspection at the TSA.”

“Someone who orders Uber Eats.”

P.S. here’s a fun Halloween costume.

***All typos in this letter are on purpose actually***