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Is Charlie Kirk's face normal, shrunken, or enlarged?

Read to the end for a good meme about Batman

June 18, 2021

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Charlie Kirk’s Juneteenth Temper Tantrum

Earlier this week, Joe Biden signed a bill declaring June 19 — a day already celebrated by many black Americans, which commemorates June 19, 1865, when slavery was finally outlawed in Texas, one of the last states to do so — as “Juneteenth National Independence Day,” a federal holiday.

Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk has tweeted about Juneteenth four separate times in the last 24 hours. His public meltdown over the new federal holiday is extremely dumb. He claims that Juneteenth becoming a holiday is part of the left’s ongoing critical race theory push and is meant to replace July 4th as America’s most important national holiday blah blah blah. Here’s my favorite tweet from Kirk about Juneteenth:

It’s nonsense, but also, imagine being so fake-mad on Twitter you angrily write, “we now have two summer holidays”. Incredible stuff.

Well, as many people have noticed, Kirk’s opinions on Juneteenth have changed quite a bit since last year. You see, last summer Trump claimed that he had made Juneteenth famous after, first, scheduling a rally on Juneteenth and then rescheduling that rally after everybody accused him of trying to co-opt it. And, of course, because Kirk is a sycophantic propagandist, he had lots of nice things to say about Juneteenth then! Here’s what he tweeted at the time:

Look, pointing out that all these guys are hypocrites isn’t hard. They make a living by looking at whatever’s trending on Twitter and turning themselves into pretzels trying to make it all seem like a grand conspiracy to destroy America. But as we continue to brave the right-wing misinfo storm around critical race theory just remember that it’s all this shallow. I mean, they literally don’t even care enough to delete their tweets.

One More Charlie Kirk Thing

If you don’t know, there’s a subreddit called Toilet Paper USA and it basically exists to endless mock Charlie Kirk. Their favorite pastime is photoshopping Kirk’s face to be bigger or smaller. Here’s an example of what I’m talking about:

The subreddit is also responsible for a lot of the photoshops of Ben Shapiro tweets about AOC’s feet. Anyways, the Kirk photoshops have gotten to the point where, for many people who lurk on the subreddit, such as myself, it’s actually become impossible to really know how big Kirk’s face actually is anymore.

And that’s why someone made this:

It’s a quiz about where you have to guess if Kirk’s face in the picture is normal, shrunken, or enlarged. It was dropped in the Garbage Day Discord by Hublot Hefner. It’s incredibly difficult. I got a 3/10 on it. I’ll be honest, after taking the quiz I think I’m even more confused about how big Kirk’s face actually is.

A Good Tweet

Zach Snyder Enters The Batman Oral Sex Debate

OK, so I didn’t cover this whole thing on Wednesday because I figured I had missed it. But it seems like I was wrong! It was revealed earlier this week that a scene in which Batman gives oral sex to Catwoman in the HBO Max’s series Harley Quinn was shot down by DC execs. Harley Quinn co-creator Justin Halpern told Variety:

“It’s incredibly gratifying and free to be using characters that are considered villains because you just have so much more leeway.. A perfect example of that is in this third season of ‘Harley’ [when] we had a moment where Batman was going down on Catwoman. And DC was like, ‘You can’t do that. You absolutely cannot do that.’ They’re like, ‘Heroes don’t do that.’ So, we said, ‘Are you saying heroes are just selfish lovers?’ They were like, ‘No, it’s that we sell consumer toys for heroes. It’s hard to sell a toy if Batman is also going down on someone.’”

This idea — that heroes don’t perform oral sex on women — kicked off a pretty sizable debate on Twitter. It also turned into a pretty massive conversation in the Garbage Day Discord’s “spicy content” room. Here’s my favorite tweet about #BatmanGoesDown:

But, as I said, the Batman oral sex news cycle had one more development last night. Zach Snyder decided to tweet his opinion on whether or not Batman would go down on Catwoman and, I won’t embed it here just so I don’t surprise you all with a pic of Batman eating out Catwoman, but let’s just say Snyder is a big supporter.

Although, Snyder’s tweet does raise some questions. For instance, where did Snyder get a picture of Batman going down on Catwoman? I reverse image searched it and I couldn’t find it anywhere else. Did he commission it?? Did he make it himself???

A Man Eats Nine Waffles

A journalist named Lee Sanderlin lost a fantasy football bet and had to spend 24 hours in a Waffle House. For every waffle he ate, he would get an hour off his time — sit there for a full day or eat 24 waffles.

Sanderlin livetweeted his journey and it’s all very funny. People have compared it to the legendary TGI Friday’s Gawker post. Sanderlin ended up spending 15 hours in the Waffle House and ate 9 waffles. The New York Times did a cute story about the whole thing.

Ok sure. But, look, I gotta be real here. Nine waffles in 15 hours? That’s nothing. Waffle House waffles aren’t even that big! They’re slightly larger than an Eggo Waffle! You’re telling me you couldn’t eat at least 12-15 waffles over the course of several hours?

An Interview About Reylos

Yesterday, I sent paying Garbage Day subscribers an interview with fandom reporter and Teen Vogue contributor Stitch. She’s a sharp cultural critic who writes about racism within fandom spaces. She’s also been at the center of a years-long dogpile by Reylo shippers, or people who romantically pair Rey and Kylo Ren from Star Wars. Reylos are considered some of the most vicious fans on the internet. The interview was intense, but really interesting. And I also got a change to ask Stitch a question that I’ve been wondering for a long time now. Simply, what is it about Rey/Kylo Ren fan works that seem to bring out the worst in people. Here’s what Stitch had to say:

When you bring up the whiteness of the Rey/Kylo fandom they’ll say, “we're a fan of people of color and women.” There's a demographic survey that I’ve gone to a couple times when I talk about it that says that fandom is 75% white, at least. Fandom itself is very white.

I think that for a lot of Reylo fans, I don't think it's super conscious. But it's that sense of like, “what we want should be the thing.” It is the same entitlement that we see with the backlash to racebending. And with Reylo, I don't think that they sat there collectively and went, “we like this because they're both white.” But they are thinking in terms of whiteness, like, “we are the who the story is about, we should get the prince. We should get that tall, dark and handsome dude.” And they never think, “oh, John Boyega exists.” Like he's not appealing to them.

Mark Cuban Has A Bad Week

On Wednesday, I mentioned that Mark Cuban was shitposting in a crypto Discord. Well, here’s an update. Cuban appears to have been rugpulled hard by the sketchy cryptocoin he was messing around with.

The token is called Iron Titanium Token, or Titan, and on Thursday is dropped from $60 to $0. lol is that bad? Cuban tweeted that he was hit by the crash just like everyone else. He spoke to Bloomberg a bit more about the drop (paywalled).

If you’re looking for a slightly more freewheeling write-up of Cuban’s experiences in the pump-and-dump free-for-all of DeFi tokens, you can head over to r/CryptoCurrency, which has some more screenshots from the Discord that Cuban was hanging out in. In case you’re having trouble visualizing how bad of a crash this was:

Another Good Tweet

How To Make A Machine Gun Kelly Song

I’ve been trying to include this in a Garbage Day all week but I kept running out of space. It’s got a clickbaity title, but a couple guys went into the studio and figured out how to make a Machine Gun Kelly song. They ended up producing something that was good enough to actually trick me at first in thinking it was from MGK.

New Japanese COVID Hack Dropped

Last year, I wrote about how Japanese Twitter user @13237sora created hilarious filters that would turn your Zoom calls into dating simulators. It seems as if the trend in Japan has continued. Earlier this week, another Twitter user named @majyokkorei shared a COVID partition that turns your socially distanced dinner into a JRPG fight screen. According to a translate from Twitter user @UnseenJapanSite, the words on the screen read:

What will you do?

Attack

Defend

Speak

Bow

Flee

Some Stray Links

P.S. here’s a good meme about Batman.

***Any typos in this email are on purpose actually***

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